THREE: To be or not to be.....
So the answer is 99% not to be....below is the reason why my husband and I rationally (head over heart!) decided not to have a third (although there is still that 1% remaining and I'm happy to 'wing it' for the the next 3 months leaving the decision to fete...the husband (Alex) is not so keen!!!)
I've only ever wanted two children and the sex of the children have never really mattered to me.....I've never longed for a girl and I LOVE having two mummy's boys but despite my youngest, being a lot harder than my first when he was very young and I was very tired, I thought constantly about having three and as he started crawling and then walking I found myself picturing another baby and a family of three! The biggest reason for even contemplating having a third is the possible regret of not another (as my family keep reminding me) and I know deep down my husband would like a little girl....a daddy's girl and part of me wants that for him!
......however, rightly or wrongly we have made this decision based on 'head over heart' and I'm sure 10 years from now we may think oh we should have had another one but these are the things we have considered....
1. NO ONE WANTS TO BABYSIT THREE!
Alex and I love going out and we have started to get a real sense of balance back in our lives which I think is very important as a couple and family. I've come across quite a few scenarios where the husband may feel a little left out as all attention is given to the children. At times that may be necessary but having a happy home with parents that love each and have time to 'be together' is also very important so 'couple time' is a must (for us anyway)! I really do believe that but I also LOVE going out and the possibility of that being taken away from me scares me!
I don't need to say much here....children are expensive and more children means more money. Now this could be seen as a selfish view, maybe it is but the more children you have the less 'free' money you have for the luxuries in life ....holidays, eating out, going out, treats etc etc. Yes I know you don't need these things but I want them (sadly I'm part of a materialistic generation)....and as I say it maybe a selfish view as in 10 years I will possibly regret it!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE holidays! This is another big reason (again possibly selfish and regrettable) why a third is a no go area! Everything becomes so expensive and much more difficult again. The boys at the moment are manageable, we don't have to take everything including the kitchen sink with us and we can sit down and eat meal at a restaurant without having to shovel the food down as quickly as we can and get out as quickly as we can before we get thrown or stared out!! We are taking the boys to Thailand and Vietnam in a few weeks for a 6 week trip...I love that we can do that (or are attempting to!) but add a baby to the mix and we won't be able to do that for a good for years or possibly ever again as we'd be skint feeding and clothing the little blighters (who knew small boys could eat so much and grow so quickly!!)
Finally, for the past few years Alex and I have had sneaky mini breaks by ourself which have been totally magical, BOOM that is OVER with a third - see point 1!
4. I JUST CAN'T DO IT AGAIN
I really don't believe that I could do it again! I loved being pregnant with Reggie, I enjoyed it with Heath but I think I'd be hell on earth a third time..bad back, bad back, tired, tired, tired is all that would come out of my mouth!
Tiredness with another 2 to look after - yuk, yuk, yuk!
Bickering again with Alex - noooooo thank you!
Not being able to sit down and eat my meal in relative peace. I LOVE EATING and I don't like that experience to be interrupted.....no chance with a young baby!!
5. AGE & HEALTH
This is a worry, I'm not getting any younger. I have a lovely healthy family but what if I had another and there were complications!
- See first blog post - A little less mummy and a little more me
Overall though, it's your body that makes the decision!
Babies although hard work are adorable and give you so much joy, pregnancy and birth are among the most special things in the world as is caring and bringing up a child that is totally dependent on you...so if that nagging feeling gets stronger then I could be in trouble....I'm not going to lie...there is a little niggle! We are going away in 3 weeks and I could be tempted to throw caution to the wind ....watch this space 😉 x
What are your thoughts on three or more?
Hats off to anyone who does have 3 or more...I'm not sure I could do it!